I read this in the July 2014 Ensign and it spoke to me.
"When you feel inclined to berate yourself for parenting mistakes, try to deepen your humility instead of your humiliation."
I was not the perfect parent, though I really wanted to be. I hope my children forgive me for my mistakes and do better than I did. I think that is what any parent wants. I think that as children become parents and see how hard it can be and make their own mistakes they tend to forgive their parents.
I sometimes do feel humiliation for things I did or didn't do. But instead I need to focus on repentance and humility - and remember that often,I was doing the best I could under the circumstances.
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Pefectionism
For many years I was a frustrated perfectionist. I so wanted to be perfect but knew I wasn't and wouldn't be in this life. As I have learned more about the Lord's perfect atonement I have come to accept my failings and my missteps with faith and hope that they will be forgiven and that the Lord has already covered those for me. I just need to keep trying.
I liked what I read in the July 2014 Ensign from Elder Gerrit W. Gong -
"Perfectionism can cause sleeplessness, anxiety, procrastination, discouragement, self-justification, and depression. These feelings can crowd out the peace, joy, and assurance our Savior wants us to have.
I liked what I read in the July 2014 Ensign from Elder Gerrit W. Gong -
"Perfectionism can cause sleeplessness, anxiety, procrastination, discouragement, self-justification, and depression. These feelings can crowd out the peace, joy, and assurance our Savior wants us to have.
Missionaries who want to be perfect now may become anxious
or discouraged if learning their mission language, seeing people baptized, or
receiving mission leadership assignments do not happen fast enough.
For capable
young people accustomed to accomplishment, a mission may be life’s first great
challenge. But missionaries can be exactly obedient without being perfect. They
can measure their success primarily by their commitment to help individuals and
families “become faithful members of the Church who enjoy the presence of the
Holy Ghost.”
Students beginning a new school year, especially those
leaving home for college, face both excitement and concerns. Student scholars,
athletes, artists, and so forth go from being a “big fish in a little pond” to
feeling like a minnow in an ocean with unfamiliar tides and swift,
unpredictable currents. It is easy for students with perfectionist tendencies
to feel that, no matter how hard they try, they have failed if they are not
first in all things."
He also said:
"Another serious dimension of perfectionism is to hold others
to our unrealistic, judgmental, or unforgiving standards. Such behavior may, in
fact, deny or limit the blessings of the Savior’s Atonement in our lives and in
the lives of others. For example, young single adults may make a list of
desired qualities in a potential spouse and yet be unable to marry because of
unrealistic expectations for the perfect companion.
Thus, a sister may be unwilling to consider dating a
wonderful, worthy brother who falls short on her perfectionist scale—he does
not dance well, is not planning to be wealthy, did not serve a mission, or
admits to a past problem with pornography since resolved through repentance and
counseling.
Similarly, a brother may not consider dating a wonderful,
worthy sister who doesn't fit his unrealistic profile—she is not a sports
enthusiast, a Relief Society president, a beauty queen, a sophisticated
budget-er, or she admits to an earlier, now-resolved weakness with the Word of
Wisdom.
Of course, we should consider qualities we desire in
ourselves and in a potential spouse. We should maintain our highest hopes and
standards. But if we are humble, we will be surprised by goodness in unexpected
places, and we may create opportunities to grow closer to someone who, like us,
is not perfect."
Sunday, May 4, 2014
April 2014 General Conference - President Monson - Part 1
I just finished reading all four of President Monson's talks in the May 2014 Ensign. I always try to read his talks first since he is our Prophet. He was inspiring as always.
Below our some of the thoughts he expressed that I want to be sure that I am living and that I want my family (well, and all of the world) to live. (Note: I will italicize his quotes.)
From his welcoming address: Live true to the faith. He was referring to the cultural program before the Gilbert Temple dedication. That was their theme, He said, "Think about that: "Live true to the faith."
President Monson's talk about courage in the Priesthood session was so good. There were so many great quotes!
"We live in a world where moral values have, in great measure, been tossed aside, where sin is flagrantly on display, and where temptations to stray from the strait and narrow path surround us. We are faced with persistent pressures and insidious influences tearing down what is decent and attempting to substitute the shallow philosophies and practices of a secular society.
Because of these and other challenges, decisions are constantly before us which can determine our destiny. In order for us to make the correct decisions, courage is needed—the courage to say no when we should, the courage to say yes when that is appropriate, the courage to do the right thing because it is right."
President Monson is aware of how far from society has strayed from decent values. He knows it isn't easy to live in the world. But he has told us that we need to decide where we stand and be courageous. I t may not be easy but we must do it.
"Inasmuch as the trend in society today is rapidly moving away from the values and principles the Lord has given us, we will almost certainly be called upon to defend that which we believe. Will we have the courage to do so?"
We must defend that which we believe. How can we do so? In conversations, by actions, by commenting in social media or on articles in the internet. We could be such a force for good if we will just have the courage to take a stand. I am going to start looking for articles on the internet where I can comment and stand for the right.
"I offer to each of you the same advice: “If you ever find yourself where you shouldn’t ought to be, get out!”"
I love this! I heard this advice as a teen, I tried to teach it to my children. Be courageous and get out!
Said Scottish poet and novelist Robert Louis Stevenson: “Everyday courage has few witnesses. But yours is no less noble because no drum beats for you and no crowds shout your name.”
First can I say that president Monson is the best for teaching with great quotes be it from poets, literary works, or Broadway musicals. Through the many years he has led me to discover new ideas or works because of what he shares in his talks.
Let me emphasize that quote again. It is so good!
“Everyday courage has few witnesses. But yours is no less noble because no drum beats for you and no crowds shout your name.”
Be courageous - especially when no one is looking!
Wrote the Christian author Charles Swindoll: “Courage is not limited to the battlefield … or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are inner tests, like remaining faithful when no one’s looking, … like standing alone when you’re misunderstood.”
This was good but I loved what President Monson added : "I would add that this inner courage also includes doing the right thing even though we may be afraid, defending our beliefs at the risk of being ridiculed, and maintaining those beliefs even when threatened with a loss of friends or of social status. He who stands steadfastly for that which is right must risk becoming at times disapproved and unpopular."
Doesn't this just fill you with desire to take on life's dragons?
"Brethren,(and of course, sisters) are you the same person wherever you are and whatever you are doing—the person our Heavenly Father wants you to be and the person you know you should be?"
We should always be the same person ( a person of high character) wherever we are and whoever we are with.
"We will all face fear, experience ridicule, and meet opposition. Let us—all of us—have the courage to defy the consensus, the courage to stand for principle. Courage, not compromise, brings the smile of God’s approval."
"I love His promise recorded in the book of Joshua: “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. … “… Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” My beloved brethren, with the courage of our convictions, may we declare, with the Apostle Paul, “I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ.” And then, with that same courage, may we follow Paul’s counsel: “Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”"
May we all "gird up our loins and fresh courage take" - knowing "God will never us forsake"!
Below our some of the thoughts he expressed that I want to be sure that I am living and that I want my family (well, and all of the world) to live. (Note: I will italicize his quotes.)
From his welcoming address: Live true to the faith. He was referring to the cultural program before the Gilbert Temple dedication. That was their theme, He said, "Think about that: "Live true to the faith."
President Monson's talk about courage in the Priesthood session was so good. There were so many great quotes!
"We live in a world where moral values have, in great measure, been tossed aside, where sin is flagrantly on display, and where temptations to stray from the strait and narrow path surround us. We are faced with persistent pressures and insidious influences tearing down what is decent and attempting to substitute the shallow philosophies and practices of a secular society.
Because of these and other challenges, decisions are constantly before us which can determine our destiny. In order for us to make the correct decisions, courage is needed—the courage to say no when we should, the courage to say yes when that is appropriate, the courage to do the right thing because it is right."
President Monson is aware of how far from society has strayed from decent values. He knows it isn't easy to live in the world. But he has told us that we need to decide where we stand and be courageous. I t may not be easy but we must do it.
"Inasmuch as the trend in society today is rapidly moving away from the values and principles the Lord has given us, we will almost certainly be called upon to defend that which we believe. Will we have the courage to do so?"
We must defend that which we believe. How can we do so? In conversations, by actions, by commenting in social media or on articles in the internet. We could be such a force for good if we will just have the courage to take a stand. I am going to start looking for articles on the internet where I can comment and stand for the right.
"I offer to each of you the same advice: “If you ever find yourself where you shouldn’t ought to be, get out!”"
I love this! I heard this advice as a teen, I tried to teach it to my children. Be courageous and get out!
Said Scottish poet and novelist Robert Louis Stevenson: “Everyday courage has few witnesses. But yours is no less noble because no drum beats for you and no crowds shout your name.”
First can I say that president Monson is the best for teaching with great quotes be it from poets, literary works, or Broadway musicals. Through the many years he has led me to discover new ideas or works because of what he shares in his talks.
Let me emphasize that quote again. It is so good!
“Everyday courage has few witnesses. But yours is no less noble because no drum beats for you and no crowds shout your name.”
Be courageous - especially when no one is looking!
Wrote the Christian author Charles Swindoll: “Courage is not limited to the battlefield … or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are inner tests, like remaining faithful when no one’s looking, … like standing alone when you’re misunderstood.”
This was good but I loved what President Monson added : "I would add that this inner courage also includes doing the right thing even though we may be afraid, defending our beliefs at the risk of being ridiculed, and maintaining those beliefs even when threatened with a loss of friends or of social status. He who stands steadfastly for that which is right must risk becoming at times disapproved and unpopular."
Doesn't this just fill you with desire to take on life's dragons?
"Brethren,(and of course, sisters) are you the same person wherever you are and whatever you are doing—the person our Heavenly Father wants you to be and the person you know you should be?"
We should always be the same person ( a person of high character) wherever we are and whoever we are with.
"We will all face fear, experience ridicule, and meet opposition. Let us—all of us—have the courage to defy the consensus, the courage to stand for principle. Courage, not compromise, brings the smile of God’s approval."
"I love His promise recorded in the book of Joshua: “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. … “… Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” My beloved brethren, with the courage of our convictions, may we declare, with the Apostle Paul, “I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ.” And then, with that same courage, may we follow Paul’s counsel: “Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”"
May we all "gird up our loins and fresh courage take" - knowing "God will never us forsake"!
Saturday, April 26, 2014
The Purpose of Trials
“Our Heavenly Father, who gives us so much to delight in, also knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. … Such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were—better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before.”
- President Thomas S. Monson
My goal is to recognize trials when I am in the middle of them and to look forward to the growth that will come from them. In other words, to have a positive attitude!
President Thomas S. Monson has declared:
“Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. …
“My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.”
Elder Bradley D. Foster said, I have learned much from a book titled Why Did This Happen to Me? by Ray Pritchard. He says: “Sometimes we will face things for which there is no earthly explanation. In those moments we need to erect a sign that reads, ‘Quiet: God at Work.’ Meanwhile, hold on, child of God. Keep believing. Don’t quit. Don’t give up. Let God do His work in you. The greatest tragedy is to miss what God wants to teach us through our troubles.”
That is just what I said up above. (Sorry the computer is being weird and won't let me change fonts,etc...)
- President Thomas S. Monson
My goal is to recognize trials when I am in the middle of them and to look forward to the growth that will come from them. In other words, to have a positive attitude!
President Thomas S. Monson has declared:
“Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. …
“My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.”
Elder Bradley D. Foster said, I have learned much from a book titled Why Did This Happen to Me? by Ray Pritchard. He says: “Sometimes we will face things for which there is no earthly explanation. In those moments we need to erect a sign that reads, ‘Quiet: God at Work.’ Meanwhile, hold on, child of God. Keep believing. Don’t quit. Don’t give up. Let God do His work in you. The greatest tragedy is to miss what God wants to teach us through our troubles.”
That is just what I said up above. (Sorry the computer is being weird and won't let me change fonts,etc...)
March 2014 - The Lord's standard of Morality - Elder Tad R. Callister
Pornography,,,
"If you are afflicted with this malady, you need to do all within your power to overcome it. It may require confession, intense prayer, fasting, immersion in the scriptures, replacing idle time with constructive time, putting strict boundaries on Internet usage, professional counseling, and the like, but you can overcome it. At some point willpower will be an indispensable ingredient—there is not a pill or counseling technique to solve every addiction." (my emphasis)
"In essence, our thoughts become the seeds of our actions. We do have the power within us to take control of our lives and our thoughts. Good and evil thoughts cannot coexist in our minds any more than light and dark can exist at the same time and in the same place. At some point we must decide which will be our invited guest." (my emphasis)
"If we so desire, we can drive out every evil thought and immediately replace it with an uplifting song or poem or scripture. Just as darkness flees at the presence of light, so evil flees at the presence of good." (my emphasis)
None of us should think we are too powerful or too immune to succumb. Secluded locations, late nights, and morally loose friends have incredible magnetic fields to draw us into Satan’s clutches. (my emphasis)
There is no field so dark or corner so secluded that no one will ever know. God will know, and you will know if you violate His moral law. (my emphasis)
The older I get the more sickened I feel at the lack of morality in society. It breaks my heart, especially for babies and children and families who are so affected by it. TV shows mock the sanctity of that which the Lord deems sacred - the procreative powers. It is not a sport, it is not a game, it is not a recreational or animalistic activity. It is sacred.
"If you are afflicted with this malady, you need to do all within your power to overcome it. It may require confession, intense prayer, fasting, immersion in the scriptures, replacing idle time with constructive time, putting strict boundaries on Internet usage, professional counseling, and the like, but you can overcome it. At some point willpower will be an indispensable ingredient—there is not a pill or counseling technique to solve every addiction." (my emphasis)
"In essence, our thoughts become the seeds of our actions. We do have the power within us to take control of our lives and our thoughts. Good and evil thoughts cannot coexist in our minds any more than light and dark can exist at the same time and in the same place. At some point we must decide which will be our invited guest." (my emphasis)
"If we so desire, we can drive out every evil thought and immediately replace it with an uplifting song or poem or scripture. Just as darkness flees at the presence of light, so evil flees at the presence of good." (my emphasis)
None of us should think we are too powerful or too immune to succumb. Secluded locations, late nights, and morally loose friends have incredible magnetic fields to draw us into Satan’s clutches. (my emphasis)
There is no field so dark or corner so secluded that no one will ever know. God will know, and you will know if you violate His moral law. (my emphasis)
The older I get the more sickened I feel at the lack of morality in society. It breaks my heart, especially for babies and children and families who are so affected by it. TV shows mock the sanctity of that which the Lord deems sacred - the procreative powers. It is not a sport, it is not a game, it is not a recreational or animalistic activity. It is sacred.
This should have been the first post! Why I am doing this blog...
The Ensign magazine is published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints of which I am a member.
Each month I read inspiring thoughts, teachings and experiences of others. Often, I wish to share something with one or all of my children or a friend but I forget to do it.
So, I decided to use a blog as a forum to do this.
I hope that my children, especially, will read the Ensign from cover to cover each month. When I was a young mom I set a goal to do this ( I think there were more pages and smaller print in those days too!) It took me a few years of setting this as a goal to accomplish it but eventually i did and I have read almost every issue from cover to cover for many, many years.
I invite reader's comments on my posts. I love learning from others!
Enjoy these Ensign Gems!
- Betty
Each month I read inspiring thoughts, teachings and experiences of others. Often, I wish to share something with one or all of my children or a friend but I forget to do it.
So, I decided to use a blog as a forum to do this.
I hope that my children, especially, will read the Ensign from cover to cover each month. When I was a young mom I set a goal to do this ( I think there were more pages and smaller print in those days too!) It took me a few years of setting this as a goal to accomplish it but eventually i did and I have read almost every issue from cover to cover for many, many years.
I invite reader's comments on my posts. I love learning from others!
Enjoy these Ensign Gems!
- Betty
Aligning our will with His - March 2014 Ensign (see pg. 42 - Rachel and Leah)
Lessons we can learn from Rachel and Leah:
Even though our circumstances may be different from what we expected, we will be blessed was we trust in the Lord and align our will with His. I love what Elder Maxwell taught - the only thing we have to give Him is our will. I do trust in the Lord. The atonement of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ fills me with hope.
Although our family situations may seem less than ideal, great blessings will come to us through our obedience and faith.
When my family was young I would look at the pictures of families on the Ensign magazine and think about how much I wanted my family to look like that. There was a quirky song in the '70s's called "The Cover of the Rolling Stone" about someone wanting their picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine. Well, I would think, I want my family on the "cover of the Ensign magazine" . When I would really stop and think about it, I would realize that those were posed pictures. Photographers were not lurking outside windows to snap a candid picture of a family reading scriptures or having Family Home Evening or family prayer. But I still really wanted my family to look like those families. In reality, had a photographer snapped a candid photograph during one of those times they would have seen clutter, children annoying each other, mom and dad scolding, children sleeping, etc. But we still tried. Though we may not have been ideal - or looked like the families who were on the covers of the magazines we tried to teach our children the gospel of Jesus Christ and instill habits of study and worship. It is now up to them to make those a part of their lives. Like I said above, I live on hope.
What Can I Do?
Put my full trust in the Lord and focus on the good in my family situation as I strive to "make weak things become strong" (Ether 12:27)
Evaluate my family relationships and ask myself if there is someone in my family with whom I can develop a better relationship.
Even though our circumstances may be different from what we expected, we will be blessed was we trust in the Lord and align our will with His. I love what Elder Maxwell taught - the only thing we have to give Him is our will. I do trust in the Lord. The atonement of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ fills me with hope.
Although our family situations may seem less than ideal, great blessings will come to us through our obedience and faith.
When my family was young I would look at the pictures of families on the Ensign magazine and think about how much I wanted my family to look like that. There was a quirky song in the '70s's called "The Cover of the Rolling Stone" about someone wanting their picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine. Well, I would think, I want my family on the "cover of the Ensign magazine" . When I would really stop and think about it, I would realize that those were posed pictures. Photographers were not lurking outside windows to snap a candid picture of a family reading scriptures or having Family Home Evening or family prayer. But I still really wanted my family to look like those families. In reality, had a photographer snapped a candid photograph during one of those times they would have seen clutter, children annoying each other, mom and dad scolding, children sleeping, etc. But we still tried. Though we may not have been ideal - or looked like the families who were on the covers of the magazines we tried to teach our children the gospel of Jesus Christ and instill habits of study and worship. It is now up to them to make those a part of their lives. Like I said above, I live on hope.
What Can I Do?
Put my full trust in the Lord and focus on the good in my family situation as I strive to "make weak things become strong" (Ether 12:27)
Evaluate my family relationships and ask myself if there is someone in my family with whom I can develop a better relationship.
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